General Banter.

Social Banter between Cybercaders on non-Americade Subjects.

Moderators: Site Admin, WCLamb

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Ryck
Posts: 624
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 5:28 pm
Location: New York City, NY
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Re: General Banter.

Postby Ryck » Sun Mar 26, 2017 11:20 am

I like this section. It's a place for smiles when you can't go out and get your smiles riding your bike.

:)

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WCLamb
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Posts: 5316
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2003 9:11 am
Location: Mullica Hill, NJ USA
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Re: General Banter.

Postby WCLamb » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:23 pm

Strange Proverbs


A dog is wiser than a woman; it does not bark at its master.
- Russian Proverb

A drink precedes a story.
- Irish Proverb

A drowning man is not troubled by rain.
- Persian Proverb

Better wear out shoes than sheets. (I'm glad I don't agree with this one!)
- Scottish Proverb

Every ass loves to hear himself bray.
- Proverb of Unknown Origin

Friends are lost by calling often and calling seldom.
- French Proverb

He that marries for money will earn it.
- American Proverb

Laws control the lesser man. Right conduct controls the greater one.
- Chinese Proverb

Lend your money and lose your friend.
- English Proverb
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ladyff1481
Posts: 416
Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:30 pm
Location: Waverly, NY
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Re: General Banter.

Postby ladyff1481 » Tue Apr 11, 2017 6:18 pm

Absolutely devastated.
A very sad day today. After 7 years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients (they were good friends) and can now no longer work in the profession he loves. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.
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WCLamb
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Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2003 9:11 am
Location: Mullica Hill, NJ USA
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Re: General Banter.

Postby WCLamb » Wed Apr 12, 2017 10:34 am

Strange Answers to Questions on Welfare Claims:

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children. Can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

This is my eight child, what are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead; the man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake, as you will see.

My husband got his project cut off 1 week ago and I haven't had any relief since.

Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

I have no children yet, as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night.

In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 months and he doesn't doe me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
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WCLamb
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Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2003 9:11 am
Location: Mullica Hill, NJ USA
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Re: General Banter.

Postby WCLamb » Wed Apr 12, 2017 10:37 am

Strange Answering Machine & Voice Mail Prompts:

Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply.

Suicide Hotline...please hold.

We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!

This answering machine message is for all you psychics out there... (Long silence...) BEEP

These words are lovely dark and deep
But I've got promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep
So leave a message at the beep.

Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!

This is a test. This is a test of the Answering Machine Broadcast System. This is only a test.
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